Start a family
with people you trust.
Co-parents and known donors, matched properly. Every member verifies their name, email and phone plus a checked selfie, every photo is reviewed before anyone sees it, and a conversation opens only when you both say yes. Netherlands, Belgium and Germany.
- Verified members only
- Every photo reviewed
- EU servers, EU law
- NL · BE · DE
- No ads, ever
Safety
Everything here starts with who is on the other side.
This is a decision that lasts a lifetime, so the checks come before the matching — not as a badge you can buy, but as work every member does before anyone can reach them.
Four checks, visible
Email, name, phone and a selfie a person compares with the profile. Each one shows on the profile as a level anyone can read.
Every photo reviewed
Nothing appears until it has been looked at, and photos stay blurred until a conversation is actually open.
You decide who finds you
Your call runs for three months and comes down the second you want it to. A chat opens only when you both say yes.
Reports reach a person
Not a queue and not a bot. A blocked account cannot return under a new address, and your data never leaves the EU.
Routes to a family
Three ways in, and they are not the same.
Which route you take decides the cost, the wait, who is legally a parent, and whether your child can one day know where they came from. We explain all three, per country, and never push one.
Co-parenting
Raising a child together without being a couple. The most shared decisions, and the most to agree before you start.
A known donor
A donor your child can know. More contact to arrange, and more that a written agreement has to settle.
Clinic or bank
The most legal certainty and the least contact. We say plainly where CoKinder is not the answer.
How it works
Four steps, and none of them are a swipe.
Matching here is slow on purpose. The decision at the end of it lasts a lifetime.
Build a profile
What you want, and what you will not compromise on.
Filter honestly
Country, route, timing, and the things people avoid asking.
Talk first
Opening a chat costs tokens, which is why nobody sends fifty.
Take advice
Before anything is agreed, in the country it will be agreed in.
Verification
What a verified profile actually means.
Not a badge someone bought. A set of checks, each of which can fail.
Identity
Government-issued, matched to the account.
Contact
A working phone and a working address.
Likeness
A live selfie compared to the profile photos.
Stories
In their own words.
People who found each other here, on what they wish they had known at the start.
A solo mother, Utrecht
“I wanted a donor my child could one day meet. That narrowed it, and it made the conversation honest from the first message.”
Two dads, Antwerp
“We spent four months talking before anyone signed anything. That was the point.”
A donor, Cologne
“I wanted to be known, not anonymous. Here I could say that up front instead of hoping.”
Law, per country
Three countries, three sets of law.
The Netherlands, Belgium and Germany each answer parenthood, consent and money differently. We say which is which, and when to get a lawyer.
Netherlands
Recognition, custody and what an agreement can and cannot do.
Belgium
Clinic routes, anonymity, and the position of a known donor.
Germany
Parental status, maintenance, and where the risk actually sits.
Journal
Everything worth knowing before you start.
Law, money, and the conversations people put off. Written plainly and reviewed per country.
Legal
Recognition, custody, maintenance — and what an agreement can actually do.
Medical
Home insemination, clinics, screening, and what each route asks of you.
Practical
Money, distance, timing, and the questions to ask before you meet.
About us
A small team, in the Netherlands.
We built CoKinder because the existing options were a forum, a clinic, or a stranger. None of those treated the decision with the weight it has.
European by default
Your data stays in the EU. Not as a setting — as the only option.
Reviewed per country
Every legal page is checked by a lawyer in the country it covers.
Paid for by tokens
Not by advertising, and not by selling what you told us.
Free to join. Free to match.
An account costs nothing and matching costs nothing. Opening a chat costs tokens — which is the whole reason your inbox is not full of people who sent the same message to everyone.
Questions
The ones people actually ask.
Is CoKinder free?
Making an account, building a profile and matching are free. Opening a chat costs tokens — which is exactly why nobody here sends the same message to fifty people.
Who can see my profile?
Only verified members, and only what you chose to show. Photos can stay locked until you unlock them for someone.
Do you give legal advice?
No. We explain how the law differs between the Netherlands, Belgium and Germany, and we tell you when to take advice. The agreement itself belongs with a lawyer in your country.
What does verification actually check?
Name, email and phone, plus a live selfie matched against the profile photos. Each of those can fail, which is the point.
Can a donor stay anonymous?
That depends on the country and the route, and it is one of the first things to agree. A known donor and a clinic donor are legally different people.
Where is my data kept?
In the European Union, in the Netherlands. Profiles here are special-category data under Article 9 GDPR and are treated that way.